Oh.. a Year Have Passed
- dalam kenangan -
This day, a year back. I couldn't sleep well that night. There were questions and answers, shouts of fear, pesimist thoughts... all mumbling inside my cramped head. “Will I succeed tomorrow?”
I was at the last mile of my exhausting four years in this campus. I had to fight my own fear and laziness so I could taste the glory of winning this battle that I had dreamt to have.. seeing graduation after graduation that my friends had were so provocative and devastating at the same time.
There, at one corner.. me.. wearing oversize shirt with blue stripes tie.. felt so fragile, dull, unprepared... and at the otherside three mahagurus, ready to beat me at any punch they wanted to. How unequal that was! Oh, you don't know how much I wanted to run over the wall and just disappeared behind it... but.. I knew I can't run anywhere.. like it or not, I had to face it.
I still can hear my heart bumping with only one rhythm that Beethoven will titled it Symphony of Terror No. 13! ... and at last, Mr. Rudy Sayoga called me in.
I know my knowledge in this.. mining engineering thing.. were never enough to put me on any trial.. evaluation.. etc.. that I were going to face in any second now. I were very lucky that I can passed the 139 semester-credits I had took before.
I came in and sat in front of them. I couldn't hear my heart anymore.. may be it was stop beating. I thought I was dead already and I were pretty sure that I am not in heaven.. may be this is hell's waiting room.. and everything that follows were happened in blitzs..
The battle ended in one and a half hours. They told me to await outside as they disscused wether they wanted to give me C, D, or even E.. I were ready for any verdict. I felt that I even didn't deserve a B. But they thought the other way. I got B! My body were felt like an ice cube that spontaneously melt down. I am an ST!!!
Eventhough, I never use this title... but sometimes I recall this moment when I'm feeling down. Smile at it and thank God for all that He has given me.
This day, a year back. I couldn't sleep well that night. There were questions and answers, shouts of fear, pesimist thoughts... all mumbling inside my cramped head. “Will I succeed tomorrow?”
I was at the last mile of my exhausting four years in this campus. I had to fight my own fear and laziness so I could taste the glory of winning this battle that I had dreamt to have.. seeing graduation after graduation that my friends had were so provocative and devastating at the same time.
There, at one corner.. me.. wearing oversize shirt with blue stripes tie.. felt so fragile, dull, unprepared... and at the otherside three mahagurus, ready to beat me at any punch they wanted to. How unequal that was! Oh, you don't know how much I wanted to run over the wall and just disappeared behind it... but.. I knew I can't run anywhere.. like it or not, I had to face it.
I still can hear my heart bumping with only one rhythm that Beethoven will titled it Symphony of Terror No. 13! ... and at last, Mr. Rudy Sayoga called me in.
I know my knowledge in this.. mining engineering thing.. were never enough to put me on any trial.. evaluation.. etc.. that I were going to face in any second now. I were very lucky that I can passed the 139 semester-credits I had took before.
I came in and sat in front of them. I couldn't hear my heart anymore.. may be it was stop beating. I thought I was dead already and I were pretty sure that I am not in heaven.. may be this is hell's waiting room.. and everything that follows were happened in blitzs..
The battle ended in one and a half hours. They told me to await outside as they disscused wether they wanted to give me C, D, or even E.. I were ready for any verdict. I felt that I even didn't deserve a B. But they thought the other way. I got B! My body were felt like an ice cube that spontaneously melt down. I am an ST!!!
Eventhough, I never use this title... but sometimes I recall this moment when I'm feeling down. Smile at it and thank God for all that He has given me.
posted by Madé Harimbawa @ 1:56 AM
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